In April, I created a reflection and poem about my previous relationships and the painful breakups that came after them. It's a heartfelt cry to God. May God's love become a healing salve to the wounds in your heart:
I waded in a tide pool of many emotions.
My eyes were wells of endless water flowing down.
The wells were dry
And the tidepool was a pit of sand.
So many distractions
So many hurts
So many disappointments
Led to a great numbing of my mind
Numb I became.
Another man gone?
My muscles are flexed.
It's just another fly on the screen.
Look the other way
And it's out of sight.
But no.
The sting
After a large dose of a loneliness inoculation, it permeates and penetrates to the recesses of my soul.
I feel.
I'm hurt.
I want to say, "Ow."
But I can't stop now.
I'm out of breath in this hot house.
Is there a way out?
Will You unlock the door?
Will you take Your hand, your fingers, and sew my heart's torn seams?
Will you fill the voids with Your cells and tissues?
As I drifted to sleep, He spoke to the depths of my heart and on behalf of others:
I will give you the cells and tissues needed to repair other's hearts.
I don't just fill in the cracks with cement or clay. Everything I make is permanent and lasts forever.
You're always with me. Don't ever feel like this.
Over the summer, a story about a farm horse started to unfold in my mind: "I'm standing at the edge of the meadow. I look beyond it. I see a new horizon. The wind tickles my face. I wonder how many more times I'll run this race. You wave the sword and Proverbs 3 crosses over my face. New is coming. Be ready for it. I see that woman with that fiery, red hair. So long, it blows in her face and beyond. Her penetrating eyes of green gaze at me. I'm at a farm, and she has a horse. She takes my hand and puts it on the horse's back. I stroke his hair, and it's muddy and coarse. Rough-hewn and rugged your life may be, she says. Rub it some more and soon it will be silky and smooth to the core. Take the living water. I'll put it on your hand. Keep rubbing that fur and let me wash away your soul's burrs. Silky and smooth it (your soul) will become. Keep rubbing and washing. Then you will see the riding and the shining. "
Comments